R.I.P. Plainspeak, Also Known As “Normal Words” Or “Plain Old English”

Let’s all take a moment to pause and, uh, wait. That’s not the right word…

(by Half Dollar) Words are like food and writing is like cooking, and the truth be told, 99.99% of the people out there are horrible chefs.

Seriously.

And yes, before anyone asks if I am qualified to make such a bombastic statement, please allow me to remind everybody that Wifey is in fact a professional Chef, so my taste buds are fine-tuned, and I am, in addition to being the inventor of stuffed-crust pizza, a Master Pizza Baker in my own right, so yes, I am qualified to opine on the matter.

And since I am an expert in language, actually, at least according to the degree I earned from the nation’s first public university, I feel that I’m not only qualified, but obliged, to comment on all of the bland, pre-packaged food that has been dished-up, microwaved and served to the public as if it was some fine French Cuisine, like, oh, you know, fries, or toast.

So here’s a word that has been driving me crazy over the last day: Accidental.

As in, “oh crap, I accidentally fi…”.

I know, right?

Complaining about words that I can’t even write.

Strange times, indeed.

News Flash: The proper word, in plain-old English, is “negligently”, as in, “oh crap, I negligently fi…”.

R.I.P Negligence.

Here’s another word: Pause.

What, is this some kind of video game now?

We get to restart the level with no consequences so that we can load up on health packs and extra ammo?

Of course, in relation to what the MSM Propagandists are referring to when they talk about “pausing”, it’s not like I can even write about that thing either!

Isn’t it just absolutely mind boggling how we can’t even talk about most things nowadays, and whenever we are permitted to talk about some thing, that thing must be presented with words that aren’t even the correct words to describe it?

Amazing!

I mean, it’s bad enough we have to be subjected to the nonstop, round-the-clock propaganda, such as this:

But now, simple words are getting zapped from our language at a rate that would make the manipulated rise in the price of Bitcoin look more like a wall of worry than a crazed parabolic mania.

Regardless, R.I.P Halt.

Finally, here’s another word that really irks my inner PC Repair Technician: Refurbished.

Because “refurbished” is exactly what I think of when buying someone else’s dirty, sweaty shoes.

From Nike:

“NIKE REFURBISHED EXTENDS THE LIFE OF ELIGIBLE PRODUCTS BY TAKING LIKE-NEW, GENTLY WORN, AND SLIGHTLY IMPERFECT KICKS, REFURBISHING THEM BY HAND, AND OFFERING THEM TO YOU…”

It’s not stinky, it’s funky!

Nevertheless, R.I.P Used.

(Newspeak) developing…